I’ve grown so much. I remember this day in 2018. I was pretty much at my rock bottom. I’d wanted to feel so amazing after my birthday. I’d wanted to feel like life was reborn and renewed and that in an instant life was forever changed.
And that didn’t quite happen. What happened instead is that the changes came slowly, over time, in nuances, through micro-actions and micro-shifts. Through repeated actions and continuous unlayering. From just being willing to keep going. From just being willing to continue.
And from also realizing that I really did have everything within me to truly “be happy”. That every single time my mind wanted to lash out and grab hold of something to wallow in “unhappiness”, I had the power within me to gently reel it back in, refocus it and find my happy again.
I had the power to tap back into the things I know to be true (a lot simpler than you might be thinking), I had the power to nurture and affirm myself, I had the power to be my source. And it wasn’t a trick of the light, a slight of the mind, or rose-colored glasses I blindly chose to wear. It was in fact, the truth of what my power is. Your power too.
And on today, the day after my birthday, I’m noticing that on this birthday, though I didn’t get to have the birthday celebration I was hoping for, my reaction to that is so different. Today I woke up feeling refreshed and renewed. I woke up feeling like my new chapter is beginning. I woke up really able to connect with how much my life has changed, and mostly because of my inner commitment to me and the continuous work of learning to work with me.
Not through telling myself that I have to be perfect, that I have to figure it out, that I have to get it right before I get to have this or that. But through celebrating me the way others celebrate me. By being the FIRST to say “Leah dang you’re pretty awesome.” and letting THAT be enough, the rest just icing on the cake. Through parsing through and sometimes just holding space for when that doesn’t feel like enough, knowing that one day it will always feel like enough.
That’s how I got to here, able to call myself back in so quickly and able to have such peace in knowing that I’m getting somewhere AND having growing peace in all the steps plus detours to look at the pretty flowers along the way.
Sometimes the Universe is kind (though we often don’t perceive it that way) and brings the same message over and over and over again, making sure you don’t forget. The message for us today, courtesy of my birthday, is you get to pull yourself back into you at any point and find your peace, excitement, happiness, joy again. I did it just now. I did it this morning. I did it multiple times yesterday. And I’ll keep doing it, I’m expecting my whole life😉.
I’m feeling called to do a special free workshop on reconnecting to your Magick (aka happiness, joy, excitement, peace, ability to change your world, etc.). I’m not sure when I’ll do this (though it will be within the next 30 days), but if you’re interested in attending, leave me your information below and I’ll be sure to let you know when I do 💖.