Last week, I found myself unable to focus. I had enough energy to get small tasks done. I put together furniture pieces, returned quick phone calls, even listened to a few trainings that had been on my list to finish.
But sitting down to focus on the bigger things, the long-term plans, the dreaming and forecasting - I just could not bring myself to do it. Showing up for certain commitments that I was actually enjoying and were beginning to show fruit - I couldn't muster the energy for that either.
Leah of old would have admonished herself and proclaimed that "I just need to try harder, schedule better, declutter, be more organized, get disciplined." The usual tirade of "I'm doing something wrong and I need to fix it" would have played loudly in my ear.
The truth though is that the reason why none of those things would have worked is because pushing myself harder was not the solution. Checking in with myself and realizing how hard I was already pushing - and having a little compassion for that - was.
Just like you, the things on the surface of my life are just the surface. When we check in with ourselves, we realize that there is so much going on that we are holding together and keeping ourselves in a good space about. And sometimes, it's a lot more than usual.
In the last few weeks, I'd been holding together quite a bit. Suzyq, one of my furbabies is still pretty sick. I have some persistent career unknowns. I'm getting settled into my new place (biiiiillllssss :-D). I've been managing multiple responsibilities across my businesses, some with only long-term gains but short-term needs.
And it's not just negative stress either. I've had a slew of awesome, new opportunities show up that I want to be completely present and available for as well.
So that's a lot, coupled with regular life. And I'm sure, especially in this holiday season of *give give give*, your plate is a little fuller than usual too. Yet for some reason, we believe that we can be managing all of our behind the scenes things and yet still have the mental fortitude, brightness and stamina to "get it done" anywhere and everywhere else in our lives - despite how full the "behind the scenes" plate is.
How incredibly mean of us.
What I want to encourage you to do instead is to have faith in ebb and flow and the innate wisdom of your body and your higher self.
What do I mean by this?
There is a wisdom that we have access to at all times that lets us know where our energy is best spent. When you feel fear and anxiety rising within you (which turns into self-berating, if we don't catch it here), BOOM, that's when it's the MOST accessible. It's right there on the exact opposite side of that feeling.
All it requires is for you to turn your head and look the other way. I'm not talking about ignoring your feelings or distracting yourself. What I'm talking about is asking the question on the other side of the fear.
The fear that is pushing the anxiety usually has something to do with failing yourself or someone else. But what if divine wisdom was at play here and your energy being required elsewhere was the Universe helping you to subconsciously prioritize for the best results?
In my examples above, what if, for instance, there was some new information that I was going to be receiving in the following week (there was!) that would make forecasting for the new year incredibly easy and inspiring? Or what if *my people* were actually really busy these past couple of weeks and didn't have the time to be present with my offerings and so putting them out there would have fallen on deaf ears anyway?
When you tap into the wisdom of your body slowing you down and keeping you from something as wisdom, you are able to consider these possibilities and have faith that something bigger is going on here. And please know that the perceived lack of ability to focus is a body wisdom tool as well - our minds are housed within and intimately connected to the functioning of our body. Because we often ignore our body's messages, our mind kicks in to push the pause button and open up space for contemplation and understanding.
Let's turn the idea of being strong around and instead of being strong enough to take it all on, be strong enough to be present in what *is* requiring our attention and focus and know that the rest is being divinely handled.
Breathe into that space of knowing and let it expand <3.
My next local Meetup is all about this idea of being strong and still being supported. I would love for you to join us! Click here for more information and to RSVP: How to Be Strong and Still Be Supported.
Also, the next newsletter goes out at the beginning of this week (Monday or Tuesday)! There is a new moon on Friday, so I'll be talking about how to harness that energy, especially using herbs and self-empowerment magick <3.
Jump on the newsletter here: