The big aha moment came in a flash, in the shower, as my big aha moments usually do. All of a sudden, I realized with a crystal clearness, that I was in fact worthy. That it wasn't because I was secretly just not good enough for any of these men. It was something way simpler than that.
I was merely afraid.
And so I was attracting the ones that were scared too.
For someone who has grappled with the teeter totter of depression and anxiety all of her life, this simple revelation was mind-blowing. Like the most beautiful resonant single tone ringing through the cosmos, shattering everything but the pure, stark truth.
It was that deep. That profound.
And it's not that this is an intellectual truth that I don't know. But I know that I've never knoooooown it like this. This is the nuance. This is the beauty of the layers. This is the level beyond the levels.
I'm still reeling from that beauty and the consequences of reconnecting with that truth.
But I did record a podcast episode about it. And this was the part I forgot to include: I forgot to talk about this most important part about how much of a subtle yet magickally transformational micro-shift this reconnecting is for someone who has struggled to feel even basic worthy all her life and mostly deep within her subconscious.
Here's the episode. It's all about what I have learned. My hope is that sharing it will help you unpack some truths for yourself as well.
And I'm available for a "look down the rabbit hole" intuitive tarot reading if you need some extra help with this. That's available here.
Give the podcast episode a listen and let me know what you think. And then tell me...what's your reason for being available for only the unavailable?
Catch more of my musings on a regular basis by subscribing to my newsletter..yes they are still a thing ;-). You can also join my Facebook Group Dancing on the Ashes, where we unpack lots about the messy work of transformation <3.