written by
Leah Patterson

What if feels like to try to love

Heartset (mindset work) 1 min read

Love within a romantic relationship is hard. Feeling that you are worthy of it, knowing that you deserve it – no, more like knowing it’s your birthright. You are supposed to have it. Juxtaposing *that* reality with the reality of not having it. And trying to make sense of it.

I used to try to make sense of it. I used to try to look at each ended relationship and see what I did to contribute to the ending. How did I go wrong? What part of me was unworthy. And of course, if you have that perspective , then when someone decides that they don’t even want to start the opportunity. They can see you, know your value and still say not right now. That’s tough.

And it’s really tough when it happens over and over again.

It begs the question, what is going on over here. What frequency am I continuously putting out there. How did I attract this man again?

When it comes down to it, it’s the work that needs to be done. It’s the loving myself before any one else does. It’s about modeling that love for myself and showing me what it feels like. It’s about doing what may seem ridiculous, receiving the doubt and judgement in my mind and doing it anyway. It’s about doing something different to get something different.

And most importantly, it’s about knowing the something different *is coming*. And it’s about having a dang good time with myself in the meantime.

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