written by
Leah Patterson

Reflecting on our 8 weeks together

1 min read

.Before I wrote this, I had to do a brain dump - just write stream of conscious on a page and let what needed to come up for air come up.

And now I feel that I can write about me and Aria’s first 9 weeks together. It’s wild to me that I have a 2 month old baby girl. It’s a beautiful tribute to a tenacious yet tender dedication to dreams coming true.

It’s only now beginning to land - the tangible reality of how lucky (and I say blessed) we are. The visceral truth that so many things go wrong for others every single second of the day. I’ve seen so many stories and I guess I’m just thankful not only for the reality that we’ve been blessed with but also for the mental clarity to weather this journey that I’ve been blessed with. It just never crossed my mind in those times that Aria wouldn’t be coming home. And the truth is that there was no guarantee that she would. But she did. And my ability to only see that reality mattered.

So what is motherhood so far? It’s been a wild ride! The first week of being home at my mom’s was great. The 2nd week of being home by ourselves wasn’t too bad. And now into week 4 and 5, we’re hitting the tough times :D. Figuring out what is preemie appropriate and what I can safely expect to be the same as a full-term baby. Trying to stay true to my soul desire to nurse Aria while navigating a ton of guilt around how tough pumping was/is for me. Baby reflux and gas! Need I say more ugh!

Really feeling like I turn around and it’s time to feed her again. And also feeling like there’s nothing else I’d rather be doing. (we’ll maybe writing this finally :P).

So yah, it’s been really real. I’m here for it all though <3.