So I was bopping along feeling great. Had just gotten great confirmation via a dragonfly that my upcoming move was the right one. I was headed to one of my favorite coffeeshops because I was feeling so inspired to create some more realness in my life via plans, writing and dreamcasting.
And boom.
Pulled over by a cop.
My tags are expired and it's been time for me to renew them - but you know. Life, bills, juggling, biding time. And so today, the seeming consequences of that showed up in my face. RIGHT AFTER forking over a ton of money AND feeling pretty awesome about it.
That is important. The timing is SUPER important to this story and this potential for growth that I had and you have now for your next experience like this.
I had just done something that was a little scary for my ego. A lot has been changing in my life and though I've been riding the changes with lots of gusto and grace if I do say so myself, it hasn't been a cakewalk at all. My ego is freaking out and she has lots to say about all of these changes and what they mean about me. LOTS *insert eye roll followed by deep breath and big hug - ego is doing her best*.
And then let's insert law of attraction and talk about the things that we subconsciously attract, things like experiences to test our beliefs.
Like manifesting a cop stop that could potentially cause me a lot of money that I feel like I don't have while also potentially making me feel like an irresponsible adult-child that will never get her stuff together and prioritize (grandmother's voice is strong in this one :-D).
Yep.
And I'll admit, as zen as I would like to think I am, I had a moment. I had what my great friend Kathy calls a STOMPY moment. Kathy believes stompy moments are important and I agree with her. I let myself feel all bad and wrong and oh woe is me and hopeless. I let my ego go all crazy with horrible scenarios.
And then, like I always know now it will, my mood rose again. It always does. And coming out of that muddy pit of ugh, the thought arose that OH! Oh waaaaiiiit! This is one of those tests moments! This is one of those mirrors to help me see what I'm believing. What *am* I believing here Leah? Am I believing that this ticket is going to ruin my entire life and that I must walk with shame for the rest of it because I have not paid my tags yet? Am I believing things about my own worth over a ticket? Am I believing things about my own abilities because of a ticket? Have I just subconsciously agreed to a version of myself with the manifestation of this ticket??
Yep.
And out of that arose the sunshine of remembering that this was my awesome opportunity to affirm and see the new me.
The new me, although she doesn't like getting tickets, does not think that tickets will lead to financial ruin. The new me even has room to remember that she is a magick maker and that ticket could very well get released back into the universe by the time the courts are ready to talk about it. And the new me, plan and simple, has money to spare and even sometimes money to donate to the principalities that she frequents. *cringe* Yes it's true :-D.
So I'm happy to say, I got my mojo back pretty quickly today. I got just a smidge more comfortable in this skin of the new me.
It's not easy work at all, but it's incredibly rewarding work.
It's the kind of work that literally changes your life.
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